Some personalities are notorious for taking on more….and more…and more &&&&& then waking up one day PISSED because the list is so long, the fatigue is setting in, the body feels neglected and it feels like no one is helping or cares. RRRRRGH (insert scream here, lol).
Then stop trying to do “all of the things.” Stop trying to do the required lists for all the different friend groups. Stop trying to model what is seen on a scripted television series…remember those shows are categorized as “Drama” because that is exactly what we’re going to witness if we strive for fictitious goals (lol).
BUUUUUT why is it so hard for some?!!??
Maybe for some it is hard because it means learning to GIVE UP CONTROL (scaaaary).
It means we have to clarify the vision, we have to communicate that vision to the expected active participants in said vision and then we have to STOP and LISTEN to the thoughts of those involved… AND THEEEEEN sometimes in this communication, it is realized that this is not the vision of those around us at all…yikes!!
Differentiating necessary chores that must be completed vs those things that are extras is sometimes difficult because we are all raised differently which means the “supposed to” can look very different.
One definition of insanity is “…doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” sooooo in order to avoid becoming a bitter Bitch, there has to be a change. And change is hard for many, especially when it means relinquishing some control and changing expectations. Trying to do “all the things,” for all the people is impossible so STOP IT (lol). To continue down the same path of piling up more and more on the invisible “list” will likely lead to RESENTMENT.
One of the hardest realizations to come to terms with is how toxic unresolved resentment truly can be for ourselves as individuals and any of our relationships. After all, the efforts to “take care of” or “handle” things for those we care about or work for often begins from a place of good intentions. In fact, it is needed and often brings joy to contribute to and support “our team.” But when the negativity begins brewing, we need to stop and ask ourselves if change is possible. We can’t expect anyone to read our minds but instead we have to communicate what is needed. Sometimes we need help with this as well. We can’t predict or control the responses from those around us but we can for help and then step aside to give space for that help in the form that it comes, avoiding criticism or expectations (eeeek).
None of us can do everything.
It’s a time to stop and ask ourselves what we really want; what actually matters to us; what’s important if there is no audience around and no community to impress?
Do I have all of this under control? Hell no (lol). I am a daily work in progress.